🌈 Q&A (No. 3)

Q1: What is your earliest memory of realizing your sexuality/gender identity? What was that like?

A: I realized really early; it started in elementary because at that time I did have an encounter with a girl from my class. Being so young I didn’t fully understand what we were doing, but it was things she had seen I’m guessing because it was too advanced for my innocent brain lol. I was just a kid doing things we def shouldn’t have been at that age tbh but it was pleasuring, and it confused me, and I was like we cannot be doing that. So, when I went to middle school, I was very reserved and just in my head because I was still having thoughts about females. Reason being is my family being in church heavily and saying gay is a sin, so I tried to not be gay, obviously didn’t work lol but I didn’t have another encounter with a female until my freshman year of high school when I realized I had to be true to myself.

Q2: What is something you wish someone would’ve done for or said to you during your earlier years of finding/accepting yourself? What is something YOU would tell your younger self or others?

A: I wish someone woulda told me it was okay to be myself, accepted me with open arms, and just have someone to run to for support when my family was judging me.

I would tell myself to be free, stop shutting down and not being true to myself just because other people act like my life is affecting them or making them uncomfortable. Also stand up for myself, don’t let adults say whatever to me like saying “you’re wrong, you’re going to hell, what’s wrong with you”. I wish I gave it a lil more pushback.

Q5: Did you come out or did you just start living in your truth? Do you feel like coming out is necessary/required? Why or why not?

A: I came out but I already felt like my mama knew and I really just wanted to talk to her about it but she just wanted to act shocked then she told me I wasn’t gay and it was a phase, so I said okay, and just started living my truth. Coming out shouldn’t be a thing tbh, heteros don’t come out, why should we. Hell sometimes you can tell someone is gay, why should they have to say it. And even if you can’t tell, it’s no reason for them to go out of their way to tell someone their sexuality, esp someone they not even dealing with on that level, it’s none of their business.

Q8: What do you see for yourself in the future? Does the current state of the world have any affect on that vision?

A: I see myself getting married to my current gf, with kids and a house and the whole nine. The world is def fucked up, and I hope they don’t go too damn far but either way, ima continue living my life as I am with my woman. I ain't finna let nobody try to tell me how to live my life.

Q13: On a scale of 1-10, how difficult has it been to navigate (platonic, familial, etc) relationships with individuals of the LGBTQ+ community? How do you hold space for those around you?

A: It is def not super easy for me, i would say it’s about a 6/10. Like I vibe very well with them but most times it’s not very long term. My bestfriend since highschool is part of the LGBTQ+, that’s my longest friendship. I have came in contact with either weird acting individuals or females who don’t know how to just keep it platonic so once I’m in a relationship I can’t keep them around because I don’t trust that they will fully respect my relationship. I am very close with a guy who’s gay and I’ve noticed that I bond really well with gay guys, but for females I think so far, straight females are who I could get closer too because they would be strictly platonic. I def wish I had more LGBTQ+ friends that are as genuine and caring as I am. I also don’t like how trying to have “stud bros” and shit in that ballpark, causes all this competition and comparing and sometimes judging if there’s differences in how we carry ourselves.

Q14: What does living in your truth mean to you? Do you feel like it’s important? Why or why not?

A: Living in your truth means getting out of your head and living exactly how you want to, exactly how you feel you’re supposed to. Not worrying about anyone's opinions, not diluting who you are for others. It’s def important because until you live your truth, you’ll never fully be happy.

Q16: What do you think your younger self would have to say/think about who you are today?

A: My younger self would be so damn proud of me. Because I now live in my truth and I pushback when ppl try to talk down on the way I am. I am not in my head about it, I’m living exactly how my younger self wanted to.