🌈Q&A (No. 18)
Q3: What was it like for you to accept yourself? Was acceptance of yourself contingent upon the acceptance from peers/loved ones?
A: Acceptance was not something that came naturally for me at all, it was definitely a process. It was an extremely difficult process tbh, which is why it took me years to accept myself as Kaliq. My inability to accept myself initially started from the fear that other people wouldn’t accept me. I knew that choosing to be honest & accept my true identity, meant I had to sacrifice a lot of relationships that I had been so use to.
Q8: What do you see for yourself in the future? Does the current state of the world have any affect on that vision?
A: You know tbh, I am uncertain of what the future looks like for trans people. With the current state of the world and the constant additions of anti-trans legislation, the future seems more and more unattainable. So, for the future, I hope for less attacks on trans identified individuals, specifically trans feminine people. I hope for more access to healthcare for trans and gender non-conforming individuals. I just hope for more peace for my community!
Q10: When people say they accept you, what are some green flags that indicate that they do? What are red flags that indicate that they don’t? When it comes to people showing support, what is your biggest pet peeve(s).
A: Some green flags I’ve seen from people who knew me prior to my transition is the way they work to make sure they respect my chosen name and pronouns. They are not overly apologetic when they make mistakes, but they also don’t give excuses for why they make the mistake.
Red flags on the other hand are basically the complete opposite. Individuals who do not make it a priority to get my pronouns right, individuals who constantly dead name, and when they are corrected, they become the victims of the situation. Or people who love me “in spite of” my transition. I am only alive today BECAUSE OF my transition so being dismissive of that experience gives me a red flag that you don’t really support me or affirm me in my identity.
Q13: On a scale of 1-10, how difficult has it been to navigate (platonic, familial, etc) relationships with individuals of the LGBTQ+ community? How do you hold space for those around you?
A: I would rate it about a 3, so not difficult at all. For most of the individuals I am connected with that are part of the LGBTQIA+ community, our relationships didn’t negatively shift in comparison from pre-transition to now. They each hold & held space for me to discover what my transition looks like for me and they didn’t limit my experimentation. To hold space for those around me, I stay involved in the movement for our rights as a community, and create spaces where we (black and brown LGBTQIA+ people) can feel safe & seen as who they are!
Q16: What do you think your younger self would have to say/think about who you are today?
A: I think she would be so surprised, proud, and truly amazed. She never knew living life out & proud would be possible. Although there’s limited support from those connected to her by blood, she has gained some amazing support and community through the choice to choose self for once!
"I am only alive today BECAUSE OF my transition so being dismissive of that experience gives me a red flag that you don’t really support me or affirm me in my identity."
- Kaliq J. Alexander, He/Him, Transman
IG: @whoiskaliqalexander
