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🌈Q&A (No. 16)

Writer's picture: Alysse HarrisAlysse Harris

Q1: What is your earliest memory of realizing your sexuality/gender identity? What was that like?


A: My earliest memory of me realizing my sexuality was sometime in middle school. I was sometimes called a tomboy by my peers and relatives because I would do things that were said only boys should do. Which is weird but anyways. I also found myself flirting with my girl friends and liking the attention that they gave. I had my first girlfriend in middle school but of course, it was very lowkey and long distance. I wasn’t mentally prepared to get caught up in what was going to come behind it lmao.


Q5: Did you come out or did you just start living in your truth? Do you feel like coming out is necessary/ required? Why or why not?


A: I would say I did both. I started really living in my truth when I got to college and away from home. I felt like I could explore and be my true self without being judged. I, then, came out to my very loving and accepting brother first and he prepared my mother for the conversation. He really is the reason I felt comfortable to even have the conversation with my mother. Once I told her, I started being my true authentic self. My thought process then shifted from “I’m scared to tell folks to fuck it! As long as my mom knows, I don’t care who else does.” I feel like I still have to come out every day and it’s beyond draining. Heterosexuals don’t have to “come out” so why should I have to?


Q7: Has religion/spirituality had any kind of affect on your journey to accepting yourself (good or bad)? If so, how does that affect your view and/or practice of religion/ spirituality today?


I grew up in a Baptist church where it was frowned upon for sure. I would go almost every Sunday with my grandma and saw how the other members would look and talk about the other people who were obviously a part of the LGBTQ+ community and it made me uncomfortable. People love saying how being gay is a sin but so is sex before marriage, gambling, and so much more. But my relationship with God hasn’t changed. Deuteronomy 31:8 says; “do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” This scripture really resonates with me and my walk with Him because He wouldn’t do anything to harm or hinder me regardless of who I am or what I identify as.


Q12: On a scale of 1-10, how difficult has it been to navigate (platonic, familial, etc) relationships with heterosexual/cisgendered individuals? How do you hold space for those around you?


A: On a scale of 1-10, I would say 4 in regard to the family aspect. My immediate family knows and is very accepting. I’m more than grateful for this because I know some people who can’t say the same thing. But also, if they don’t like it, they would’ve been cut off anyways lol.


In a platonic aspect, I would say 6. When women find out that I am lesbian, some tend to think that I am flirting with them or trying to turn them when that is definitely not the case lol. It definitely is one of the most annoying things that I’ve had to deal with in my journey thus far.


Q14: What does living in your truth mean to you? Do you feel like it's important? Why or why not?


Living in my truth means walking out the house in however I decide to present myself that day, whether it be masc or fem, and just not caring what anyone thinks. I think it is important to live in your truth because you’re the root of your happiness. If you aren’t being true to yourself, how do you expect to achieve internal happiness.


Q15: What do you identify as? Have you always identified as? What led you to identify in that way?


A: I now identify as a lesbian. I thought I was bisexual until I realized that I literally couldn’t have any type of relationship or connection with a man.


Q16: What do you think your younger self would have to say/think about who you are today?


A: I think my younger self would be proud of the person I am today. I lived in denial for a while because I wanted to be what I thought was normal. I didn’t want to disappoint my family, especially my grandma, and just be accepted. I wanted to please everyone around me but now, I truly don’t care what anyone thinks about me.








"Living in my truth means walking out the house in however I decide to present myself that day, whether it be masc or fem.." - Dana L., She/Her/Hers, Lesbian


IG: danaa.chanel

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