Today is the first day that I have personally experienced microaggressions and white women attempting to use their "calm" tone to make me look like the aggressor. It is very disheartening that black people, specifically black women, are not allowed to show emotion and be vulnerable but if we do, it must be the right amount or else we will be looked at as the issue. We are not supposed to stand up for ourselves or hold anyone accountable or else we are the problem. We are always supposed to be enthusiastic and welcoming even when we are not receiving the same energy in return. We are not allowed to be mentally ill and not able to function under certain circumstances. If we are not 100%, we are supposed to fake it in order to stroke the ego and insensitivity of others who refuse to see us as human and provide us with the support and concern that we may need AS HUMANS. Meanwhile, white people, specifically white women, are allowed the space to do that. They are women at the end of the day but their skin is what gets them one step away from the oppressive and suffocating standards and stereotypes that hold us down every day. I am proud of myself, nonetheless, for advocating for myself when white women tried to label me as aggressive and possessing an "attitude" even though the only emotions I felt were disappointment and frustration. I will never be accepting of what others have accepted as "the way life is" because life is hard because of the things that we refuse to challenge and change despite knowing that there is a need for those things to take place. I am proud of myself for being honest and transparent when others choose not to be in order to cover themselves and their livelihood, all while sabotaging mine by reinforcing negative stereotypes and using their authority to make me the problem. Sometimes it's not what you said, its the fact that you were courageous enough to say something in the first place. Courage. That is a good word to describe my experience today and I hope that it fuels me to continue to be courageous regardless of being gaslight, sabotaged and attacked by "privilege". I will not settle in order to survive. I will live, learn to maneuver while creating safe spaces and I will do so happily.
Dear black people, to women and to black women: Your experiences and emotions are valid and you do not have to take more than you can bare from anyone. Know your limits, set your boundaries and stay consistent in advocating for yourself.
P.S.: Just call corporate 🥰😂
"If you are silent about your pain, they'll kill you and say you enjoyed it." - Zora Neale Hurston